ATNAS

In the realm of yuletide miracles and unfathomable wonders, there exists a figure cloaked in the mystery of the North Pole. His name, whispered with reverence and awe, is none other than Happy Fats, the corpulent harbinger of joy who defies the very laws that govern our mundane world.

With a velocity that would make the swiftest of hummingbirds blush with envy, Happy Fats embarks upon a mission that defies the constraints of time itself. Behold, for he accomplishes an astonishing rate of 822.6 deliveries per second—a pace that would render the human mind utterly incapable of comprehension.

In a fleeting fraction of a moment—merely 1/1000th of a second—Happy Fats must execute a symphony of tasks with impeccable precision. He navigates the snowy heavens, parking his ethereal sleigh with grace upon the rooftops that dot the horizon. And then, with the agility of a feline burglar, he descends through the narrow brick chimneys, defying the very physics that restrict our mortal movements.

Within these humble abodes, he performs his clandestine duties with unparalleled dexterity. The stockings, hung with care, are filled to the brim with delightful edibles, each morsel a testament to the magic that permeates this spectral night. The remaining presents, wrapped with care and festooned with ribbons, are distributed beneath the grand arboreal centerpiece of celebration. And all the while, Happy Fats indulges in the stale cookies and slightly sour milk that have become a time-honored tradition, fuel for his extraordinary journey.

As the last vestiges of his visitation linger, Happy Fats ascends the chimneys once more, his figure vanishing into the celestial abyss above. And with nary a moment's respite, he reboards his otherworldly sleigh, ready to traverse the vast expanse of the globe.

The enormity of his undertaking becomes apparent when one contemplates the sheer magnitude of his pilgrimage. Approximately 91.8 million stops, dispersed with an egalitarian precision across the entire globe, bear witness to his visitation. Each household receives a fleeting visitation, a mere blink of the eye that covers a paltry distance of approximately 0.78 miles—a cosmic whisper of joy to all those who believe.

Yet, as staggering as these numbers may be, they pale in comparison to the awe-inspiring dimensions of Happy Fats' journey. A distance spanning an inconceivable 75.5 million miles, an odyssey that disregards the mortal concept of rest or respite. No pause for bodily functions interrupts his relentless march, as if the very essence of time were at his beck and call.

And what of the energy required to sustain such an expedition? Ah, dear reader, prepare to have your mind shattered by the sheer magnitude of it all. It is estimated that Happy Fats, in his tireless endeavor, consumes an astronomical amount of energy—a mind-boggling 14.3 quintillion joules per second. Such power, harnessed by his technologically enhanced nose, fuels the ethereal vehicle that carries him through the night.

But let us not forget the gallant companions who accompany him on this impossible voyage—the reindeer who dare to tread in his wake. As they follow in his celestial footsteps, they experience the deafening sonic booms that reverberate through the air, announcing the passage of Happy Fats himself. A symphony of sound, born of extraordinary velocity, echoes through the starlit sky.

Primary weapon

Bliztens Bow

B

Brutality/primary weapon

The Neverending Nimrods 

Special ability

Holy Hell's Miracle Bone Juice

Special Skill

Toys R U

*Descriptions can be seen by purchasing a tangible depiction (AR POSTER) or a source manual....COMING SOON!